Secret Santa
by GreysAddictJ
Summary: Callie's SGMW Secret Santa rocks her world.


Author: GreysAddictJ  
Title: Secret Santa  
Pairing: Callie/Arizona  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Callie's SGMW Secret Santa rocks her world.

A/N: This was actually the first fanfic that I ever wrote. I wrote as part of a fanfic challenge on a message board I belong to and had to keep my identity a secret until voting was over. Now that it's over, I'm posting it. My challenge was to write a Christmas themed fic using the prompt "a wish list.". It's a bit long - I probably would have normally made it a multi-chapter fic, but had to write a one shot for the competition. This was written immediately following Episode 7x07. Any events taking place after that episode haven't taken place for purposes of this story. Also, Christina didn't quit – needed her at the hospital.

_**December 20th**_

Callie tried to stay away. She had really tried. But somehow, she just couldn't. More and more, she found herself in this place, unable to find comfort elsewhere. Looking, hoping for some reminder of Arizona, something, anything to fill even a small part of the emptiness inside her. Here she was again, in the Peds Ward, hoping in vain to catch a glimpse of the blonde whose essence had filled this place not so long ago. Knowing that glimpse would never come. Callie once again cursed her masochistic tendencies. Arizona had often described Peds as being a place where you could find "the joy." Where was that joy now, she wondered.

"Can I help you with something Dr. Torres?" The words of Nancy, one Arizona's favorite Peds nurses interrupted Callie's internal struggle. Nancy looked at her with kind, knowing eyes. Callie smiled at her weakly, silently cursing the hospital gossip mill, wishing everyone would stop giving her the same look that Nancy was currently giving her. The look of pity. It's hard enough to get over the love of your life as it is and it's even harder when everyone else looks at you like some sort of charity case.

"Uh….um, no. I'm fine, thanks Nancy. I think I'll just check in on Emma and see how she's doing." Callie replied. Emma Stone, age 7, was one of Arizona's favorite, and now former, patients. Emma, who had been born with a heart defect, was confined to the hospital, waiting for the only thing that could save her life – a heart transplant. Callie had come to know Emma when she'd first been admitted. Her poor heart function had caused her to pass out, injuring her wrist in the process. Since Arizona's departure for Malawi a month and a half ago, Callie had taken to visiting Emma regularly. She told herself that she did it for Emma, but deep down she knew that she was just grasping at any remaining link she had to Arizona.

Callie had tried to move on. She'd tried to do as Arizona had suggested during their fight at the airport. She'd tried to "be happy." She'd tried to date. She'd tried to throw herself into her work. She'd put on a brave face. But it didn't work. She'd thought she knew what it was to love and to lose. She'd thought that her breakups with George and with Erica had broken her. She was wrong – so, so wrong. She was empty. She was spent. She was destroyed. And despite their angry last words, she knew there was only one thing that would make her whole, that would mend her, that would complete her. And that thing, or rather that person, was thousands of miles away in Malawi. Probably being awesome and saving the lives of tons of tiny humans. Probably "being happy" without her. Everyone she'd ever loved had left her. She'd thought that Arizona would be different. She'd been wrong. She'd been crushed when she'd walked away from her in that airport. Leaving her. Alone. Again. She'd thought a million times about hopping the next plane to Malawi, throwing herself at Arizona's feet and begging for her to take her back. But she couldn't. She knew deep down that Africa together would have destroyed them. And that as much as it was Arizona's dream, it wasn't Callie's. So Callie had forced herself to stay in Seattle.

With one more pitying look from Nancy, Callie shook herself out of her reverie and proceeded down the hall to Emma's room. As Callie peered in, she noticed Emma hard at work with a pencil and paper.

"Hey kiddo, watcha up to?" Callie asked.

"I'm making my Christmas list for Santa." Emma replied. "It's almost Christmas and I want to make sure he knows what to get me." "Do you think Santa can find me here?" Emma asked. "There's no chimney here and what if he comes to my house instead?"

Callie smiled and did her best to assuage the little girl's worries. "I know for a fact that Santa makes visits here to the hospital. See, he's got this magical radar that can detect exactly where each person is in the whole world. He'll know you're here. And don't worry about the chimney part. We've got a super secret entrance reserved for special visitors like him and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy." Callie smiled, reassuringly, hoping she'd calmed Emma's fears. The last thing this little girl needed was to stress out about Santa.

"Where's your mom today?" Callie asked.

"She had to go to work. She'll be by later on. I figured I should make this list now so that I can give it to her to mail to the North Pole when she comes to visit." Emma replied, matter of factly, trying to hide the fact that she missed her mom.

Callie smiled wanly, knowing how hard it was on both the child and a single parent in a situation like Emma's. Only so much time could be taken off of work and it was hard when the child was confined to a hospital bed for months.

"So what's on your list?" Callie inquired, hoping to distract the little girl from her mother's absence.

"I'll show you when I'm done" Emma replied. Suddenly, Emma's little face lit up. "You should make one too!", she suggested. "Then when we're both done, we can help each other rank our wishes."

"Rank our wishes?" Callie asked. "It's been a while since I've made a Christmas list. I think you'd better give me a refresher course on what the rules of Christmas lists are." She smiled, momentarily forgetting the angst she'd felt for the past month and a half.

"It's easy." Emma responded. "First, you write down all the things you wish for. My mom told me that you have to make sure you include some small stuff, some bigger stuff, and maybe just one or two really big things. That way, Santa has a lot to choose from. He usually can't get you the really big things, but it doesn't hurt to put them on the list. If you don't ask for them, he won't even know that you want them. Right?"

"Right." Callie agreed.

"So after you've made your list, you have to go through and put stars next to the ones you really, really want. That way, if Santa is having trouble deciding what to get you, he knows which ones are most important. It makes his job easier." Emma explained matter of factly as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

"Okay, sounds good. Let's get started." Callie said as she grabbed an extra sheet of paper and pulled a pen from her pocket.

After several minutes of pondering, Callie had managed to start a list. Somehow, it seemed that almost every item on that list reminded her of a certain Peds surgeon. She struggled, trying to take this endeavor seriously, wracking her brain for a few things that she wanted just for herself and not just because they were reminder of Arizona. After a few more minutes, she'd managed to add a few things that she could honestly say were Arizona-free.

Callie looked up and noticed that Emma was finished. Deciding that she too was finished, Callie said "Okay, time to share our lists. How about we each read one thing off our lists at a time? When we're both done, we can decide what we should put stars next to."

"Okay." Emma agreed. "The first thing I want is a new baby doll."

Callie nodded in agreement with Emma's choice. "Okay, I'm hoping Santa will bring me this really cool key chain I saw at the hospital gift shop. It says 'Rock Star' on it." Callie smiled as she admitted this.

Emma looked puzzled with this choice. "A keychain? And why do you want something that says Rock Star?"

"Because I'm a super cool, rock star of a surgeon. So awesome that all the other surgeons wish they were me." Callie said, only half-joking.

Emma giggled. "Okay. Makes sense to me. My next thing on the list is a pony. I don't think Santa can probably bring me a pony, but I love horses so much. I think I'll put a star next to this one just in case."

"I hear ponies are pretty hard to come by, but hey, you never know." Callie responded, smiling at what was quite possibly the most stereotypical little girl item ever wished for. "Okay, the next thing I wish for is Bobby Flay's new cookbook. I'm not only a rock star surgeon, but I'm also a rock star cook and I need to learn some new recipes."

"I think you should cook for me sometime and bring it here. The hospital food is so boring." Emma replied. "My next wish is for a DVD of High School Musical. It's one of my favorite movies, but I don't own it."

"Hey, my next one's a DVD too!" Callie responded. "I wish for a DVD of Mary Poppins."

"Why? Don't you want a grown up movie instead?" Emma asked.

Callie struggled to explain. "No, I really want Mary Poppins. You see, I had this, um…friend. And we were really, really close. She was my best friend in the whole world. But she had to move far, far away to another country. Mary Poppins was her absolute favorite movie. She used to make me watch it all the time. I used to hate it, but now that she's gone, I miss our Mary Poppins movie watching nights. It reminds me of her." Callie tried to act nonchalant, but the very perceptive child picked up on her sadness. However, Emma let it go for the time being.

"Okay, my next wish is for an arts and crafts kit. It gets kind of boring around here and I'd like to draw and color and stuff." Emma said. "Your turn."

Callie responded, "Next up is a bottle of Clinique Happy perfume." Callie smiled, remembering the scent that she now and forever more would only associate with Arizona. She remembered the first time she'd discovered what the blonde's scent of choice was, and how appropriate the name "Happy" was for her. Arizona's unique scent, a combination of the perfume and the coconut shampoo she loved so much was embedded in Callie's memory. God, she missed her.

Emma's voice snapped Callie out of her reverie. "Are you thinking about your friend again?" Emma asked.

"No," Callie lied. Just thinking about how awesome a time I'm having making these lists with you. What's next on the list kiddo?"

Emma gave her a shrewd look, showing Callie that she didn't buy the lie for a minute. "The next thing I'm asking for is a Nintendo DS and some games. That's kind of a big gift, but not too big. And there are some really cool games for it. There are even ones where you can pretend to be a doctor, like you. Do you think I should put a star next to it?"

"Sure!" Callie replied "Those are cool. I even have one. Tell ya what? Why don't I bring mine by next time I'm here and you can borrow it, at least until we see if Santa brings you your own."

"Awesome!" Emma replied. "You're the best Dr. Torres! But what's next on your list?"

"I saw this really pair of earrings in the gift shop. They're all dangly and have these really pretty blue stones in them. Blue is my favorite color. Callie smiled wistfully, not letting on that the real reason she liked those earrings was because they matched the color of a certain blonde's eyes exactly. "So what's your next wish?" Callie asked, hoping to steer the conversation back to Santa before Emma could begin her newest interrogation into Callie's motives.

"I wish for an easy bake oven. My friend has one and they're really cool. And maybe if I practice, I can be a rock star cook like you, " Emma replied eagerly.

"I'm sure you can. All it takes is a little practice." Callie smiled at the little girl's eagerness.

"Okay, your turn again," Emma stated.

"Something with butterflies on it." Callie replied, once again putting on a brave face and trying not to let the child see her struggle. She silently cursed herself. Clearly she was a glutton for punishment. Why couldn't she have just made up a list of generic items like bath salts and fruitcake?

"What?" Callie said, seeing the child's incredulous look. "I like butterflies."

"No offense, Dr. Torres, but you don't really seem like someone who would like butterflies. Dr. Robbins, now she liked butterflies. But you, you're a rock star, remember? And rock stars do not like butterflies."

"They do too." Callie retorted, joking with the girl, trying to suppress the feelings that just the mention of Arizona's name caused to crash forth to the surface. "Besides, they remind me of someone very dear to me."  
"The Mary Poppins lady?" Emma asked, already knowing the answer.

"Maybe." Callie said noncommittally. "What's next?" she asked, attempting to steer the conversation back to safer waters.

"Why don't you go and visit your friend if you miss her?" Emma asked, refusing to be distracted.

"It's complicated, sweetie." Callie replied with a sad smile. "We both have very important jobs and can't leave those behind. It takes 18 hours just to get there by plane. That's practically a whole day. Plus, when she left, we had a really bad fight and I'm not even sure she wants to be my friend or even talk to me anymore." Callie couldn't believe she'd just spilled all of this out to a 7-year-old.

Emma replied: "Why don't you just tell her you're sorry? I had fight with my best friend Katie once. She wouldn't talk to me and sat at a different lunch table and everything. It made me really sad. So even though I didn't want to, I said I was sorry. I decided I'd rather have my friend, even if it meant apologizing when she was the one who was wrong."

Callie smiled at the child's simplistic, yet rather wise advice. "Maybe someday I will." she replied. "But right now, let's get back to the lists. How many do you have left?" Callie asked.

"Two left." Said Emma. "My next one is a puppy. It's not as big as a pony, but still pretty cool. I know I probably couldn't get one until I get better, because they don't allow pets in the hospital, but maybe if I get better soon, Santa could bring me one."

"Puppies are a lot of work. You sure you're up to it?" Callie asked.

"Definitely!" Emma replied. "What's your next one?"

"I've only got one left" Callie answered. "I want to do a really cool, um . . . rock star surgery." Callie smiled, looking down at her list and congratulating herself for censoring her actual answer on the fly for the child – somehow she didn't think Emma's mom would be appreciative of Callie telling Emma that she wished for a "kick ass" surgery.

"That's a cool one." Emma replied. "My last wish definitely gets a star next to it, but it's probably hard for Santa to get me. I wish for Santa to fix my heart. Maybe he can do that, right?" she asked hopefully.  
"You never know," Callie hedged. As much as she wished she could promise that for the child, she knew how long the odds were. "That's a pretty cool wish though. Do you mind if I steal it for my list? I'd like Santa to fix my heart too."

"Sure." Emma replied, looking at Callie with a puzzled gaze. "But what's wrong with your heart? You're not sick like me."

Callie smiled wanly. "No, but my heart is broken in a different way. It's sick too. Just in a different way." She stopped herself, not wanting to burden the child with too much. "But I'm sure my heart will get better, at least a little better, someday. I just have to be patient. Just like you have to be patient, waiting for Dr. Altman to fix your heart. Thanks so much for sharing your Christmas list with me, sweetie. It was a lot of fun, but now I need to get back to work."

After giving Emma a quick hug, Callie rose to leave.

"But, Dr. Torres, you didn't put stars next to any of your wishes. Santa won't know what you want most." Emma reminded her.

"Okay," Callie responded. She turned back to her list, putting stars next to the surgery and the heart. "I've really got to get back to work now, sweetie. Can you do me a favor and make sure Santa gets my list too?"

"Sure thing." Emma replied.

As Callie walked towards the door, Emma called out to her once more. "Oh and Dr. Torres?"

"Yes?" Callie replied.

"Maybe you should ask Dr. Robbins and not Santa to fix your heart."

Callie shook her head and chuckled to herself. That child was wise beyond her years.

As Callie wandered to the elevators, lost in her thoughts, she ran into Mark Sloan. Normally, being around her best friend was great. However, he too had taken to coddling her and treating her like some pathetic broken china doll. Being treated like that did not help one's recovery process. It served as yet another constant reminder of the gaping hole in her heart.

"Hey, Torres, how you holding up?" Mark asked.

Callie rolled her eyes. "Same as every other time you ask me that question." She attempted to smile, knowing he was truly worried about her. However, being asked how she was doing for the billionth time did not help.  
Noticing her discomfort, Mark changed the subject. "So who'd you get in the Secret Santa gift exchange? Know what you're going to get them?"

Crap! Callie thought to herself. She'd totally forgotten about the gift exchange that Lexie Grey had organized. She'd drawn Bailey and had absolutely no idea what to get her. At least she had a few more days to figure it out.

"You know I can't tell you that Mark. That's why they call it 'Secret' Santa. What if I drew your name?" she responded.

"You're no fun Torres. I'll talk to you later." Mark replied as he walked away.

_**December 24th**_

Leaning against the nurses' station, staring into her 4th cup of coffee, Callie couldn't decide if she was grateful or upset that she was stuck at work today. It was the Christmas Eve. And as every surgeon knows, the holidays mean chaos. She'd been at the hospital since 4am and hadn't had a moment to breathe for 6 straight hours. The craziness meant she was exhausted. But it also meant she had little time to dwell on what she was missing this holiday season. Try as she might, she couldn't help but wonder what Arizona was doing. Was she celebrating Christmas with her new friends, in her new life, being happy, "living her dream?" The small, petty side of Callie wanted her to feel as empty and alone as she felt. But as much as she tried, and as bitterly as they'd parted, she couldn't wish that on Arizona. She hoped that Arizona had found the happiness that Callie couldn't seem to muster. She truly wished that for her.

A tap on her shoulder brought her out of her reverie. As Callie turned, she saw April Kepner standing behind her with a small, prettily wrapped package.

"This is for you Dr. Torres." April said, handing Callie the gift.

"Oh, are you my Secret Santa?" Callie asked. "I thought we weren't exchanging gifts until the party tonight."

"Oh, no, I'm not your Secret Santa. I'm just the messenger. I guess whoever it is wanted you to have this gift early." April replied. "Merry Christmas!" she said as she walked away.

Callie looked down at the package, noticing that there was a card attached. Opening the card, Callie read:

_You seem to have lost some of your rock star mojo these days. May this be a daily reminder of how miraculous, how badass, how hardcore a surgeon…and a person you truly are. – Merry Christmas, Your Secret Santa_

Callie smiled. Whoever had written this clearly knew her – and the kind words made her feel just a tad bit better. As she opened the package, she did a quick double-take. Inside the neatly wrapped package was the rock star key chain that she'd told Emma about. She wondered if her wish list had somehow made it into her Secret Santa's hands, but shrugged it off. It was kind of an obvious gift after all. She'd referred to herself as a rock star on many occasions and the fact that it was located in the hospital gift shop made it an easy buy for someone who worked there. With a smile, Callie attached the keychain to her keys and went to check on one of her post-op patients.

Half an hour later, Callie used some temporary downtime to engage in what had become a daily ritual for her. She sat down in the attendings' lounge, staring at the locker that had once been Arizona's. Try as she might, she couldn't will away the feelings of loneliness and regret. The hot tears spilled down her cheeks and she wondered, for the millionth time what might have been. What if she'd done a better job at hiding her feelings about going to Africa? What if she'd opened up to Arizona in the first place? What if she hadn't stupidly given that ultimatum at the airport? She'd gone through various stages of grieving. The anger, the denial, the drunken stupor. Now she was just empty. There'd been a time when she'd been angry, so angry, about the way Arizona had ended things. However, now that she'd had time to digest this mess, she realized that Arizona had picked the fight for her. She'd given Callie the out, knowing she'd have been miserable in Africa. However, this didn't make things easier. In some respects, it was much easier to view her as a cold-hearted, selfish bitch. Knowing how poorly that description fit Arizona just made things all the worse.  
Deciding her 5 minutes of wallowing were up, Callie rose, wiped away her tears and headed to the door. As she exited, she ran directly into Alex Karev. She smiled politely and attempted to walk by, hoping he wouldn't notice that she'd been crying.

Alex stopped her. "Hey, Torres. You okay? Wait up a minute. I've got something for you."

"What is it Karev?" Callie responded, a little too harshly. "I've got three patients to check in on and I'd like to do it before the next wave of Christmas ortho casualties come through the ER door."

"Here." he replied, shoving a package into her hands. "Before you ask, it's not from me. I was just asked to deliver it. And no, I won't tell you who asked me." With that, he walked off.

Callie looked at the package quizzically. She'd already gotten her Secret Santa gift. Or so she'd thought. Noticing another card, she opened it and read:

_Not only are you a bad ass surgeon, you're an awesome cook too. You've stopped cooking. Your food comforts those you surround yourself with. Maybe you should starting cooking again and let them comfort you. May this provide you some inspiration. – Merry Christmas, Your Secret Santa_

Without opening, she knew what would be inside. Sure enough, when she tore away the paper, the cookbook she'd wished for was revealed. She smiled. And reminded herself to chastise Emma in the nicest possible way about the fact that her wish list to Santa had somehow ended up very far from the North Pole.

Just a few minutes later, Christina Yang approached her. "I don't know why I'm involved in this. I'm Jewish. I don't do Christmas. It's too bright and shiny and happy and sappy. The only good thing to come out of it are the awesome surgeries that pop up when people get all drunk and giddy on Eggnog and Santa. Anyway, someone asked me to give you this."

She handed Callie another neatly wrapped package, clearly in the shape of a DVD case.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Christina asked.

"I thought you didn't do Christmas? Why do you care what's inside?" Callie replied.

"Because I'm bored and because I'm nosy. Now open it."

Callie smiled. "I already know what's inside, but for your sake, since you can't contain your Christmas cheer, I'll open it."

She tore open the brightly colored paper to reveal, not surprisingly, Mary Poppins on DVD.

"Mary Poppins? Really? What kind of lame ass Secret Santa would by you Mary Poppins? That is like the sappiest, corniest, dopiest, movie ever made. I watched it once and the only thing I could think afterwards was that those were 2 hours of my life I'd never get back. Man, you've got a winner for your Secret Santa. How off base is this, right?" She chuckled, hoping Callie would agree and laugh with her.

"Yeah, pretty out of character for me." Callie agreed, half-heartedly, trying not to let on that the present actually made her happy.

Christina wouldn't let it go. "I mean, come on! A Spoonful of Sugar and all those dancing chimney sweeps and coming and going by umbrella? Callie Torres does not do flying umbrellas. I mean, roller girl maybe…." Christina cut herself off, realizing she'd accidentally mentioned the one topic everyone tried to avoid around Callie. "Sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine. Don't you have to go troll the pit for a good trauma or bug Teddy about a cardio procedure? Go. I'm fine." Callie shooed her away. Christina, glad to make her escape before having to deal with a potentially weepy ex-roommate, skulked away.

Once Christina had left, Callie opened the card she'd been afraid to read in front of her friend.  
_  
__You don't smile enough these days. Maybe this will cheer you up. Hope the rest of your day is . – Merry Christmas, Your Secret Santa._

Callie was growing suspicious. Someone had gotten their hands on her wish list, that much was clear. A small part of her was hoping that somehow, Arizona was back, that she'd been the one to hatch this plan. However, she knew this was unlikely. Arizona had made it crystal clear that she couldn't turn the grant down. It was her dream. And giving up on helping all those kids was just not in Arizona's nature. She'd be gone for 3 years. Callie chastised herself, knowing that the much more logical answer was that one of her co-workers had taken pity on her and had decided to make what would otherwise have been a lonely, miserable Christmas a little bit better.

The next two hours of Callie's day were occupied by surgery. She absolutely loved the OR. I gave her time to forget for a while, to just focus on the medicine. After closing up, Callie returned to the scrub room to clean up. Like a drug habit she couldn't kick, Arizona once again entered her thoughts. She silently reminisced about the successful surgery she'd done on the teenage ballet dancer with Arizona in this very OR. Sure they'd fought during the surgery, but it was about something so meaningless. What she wouldn't give to be able to go back to the days where the worst they had to deal with was whether or not Sloan looked at Arizona's boobs. As she stood at the sink, lost in her thoughts, Miranda Bailey entered the room. She handed Callie another package.

"Here."

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Bailey stopped her.

"I do not do personal things. We do not talk about that. But since Robbins left, you've been a wreck. I've seen it, the nurses have seen it, the patients have seen it, hell, everybody's seen it."

Callie gave her a puzzled look.

"What I'm trying to say is that, well, you need to move on. And I know that's tough and that it's not something that will happen overnight, but you've got to suck it up and be the tough, strong woman that I know you to be. That being said, I hope this present makes your day a little better."

"Are you my Secret Santa?" Callie asked, smiling slightly at Bailey's discomfort with the words she'd just uttered. "Because if so, you're one hell of a Secret Santa."

"Nope, not me," she said. "Do I look like I have time to plan out all these secret gifts from secret messengers? Do I look like I don't have better things to do than make these cutesy little notes and orchestrate something like this? I think not." Callie was confused, wondering how Bailey had found out about the other gifts. Bailey, seeing her questioning look, responded. "Yes, I know there is a plan, but I will not tell you that plan. That plan is for me to know and for you to find out, when the time is right. That plan is none of your business. Now, I've got a surgery to prepare for, so I'll leave you to your present." And with that, Bailey left the room.  
Callie smiled and opened the most recent card.  
_  
__We all know that the scent that really gets you going is the smell of a bone saw doing its work. However, hopefully this will come in a close second and will make you feel "Happy" at least for a little while. – Merry Christmas, Your Secret Santa_

With that, Callie opened what she knew to be a bottle of Arizona's favorite perfume. Spraying a little on herself, Callie closed her eyes and imagined for a fleeting moment that her love was right beside her and not on the other side of the globe.

As Callie headed towards the attendings' lounge to deposit her perfume, she ran into Lexie Grey.

"Dr. Torres! Just the person I was looking for. Merry Christmas!" Lexie, a little too cheerful for Callie's liking, smiled and handed her yet another present. "I know we're exchanging gifts later at the party, but your Secret Santa insisted that I give this to you now." Lexie's pager chose that moment to go off. "Gotta go. See you later at the party!"

Callie eagerly opened the newest note from her secret benefactor, revealing the beautiful earrings she'd wished for, with the blue stones.

_There's no hiding why you really love the color blue. May this gift make you smile and make you a little less "blue." - Merry Chirstmas, Your Secret Santa._

After placing her latest presents in her locker, Callie decided that her patience had run out. Clearly, the gifts must be coming to an end soon – there was no way her Secret Santa could manufacture a kickass surgery and mend her impossibly broken heart. Therefore, she had probably received all but one of her gifts. She'd expect something with butterflies, but that left her little time and few clues to deduce the identity of her Secret Santa. An investigation was in order. Her first thought was to examine the writing on the cards, but her Secret Santa was clever. They'd typed up each note, thereby giving Callie no clues through handwriting. After thinking for a moment, Callie knew what her next step was. Some gentle interrogation.

Callie entered Emma's room, noting she was once again on her own.

"Hey kiddo, where's your mom?," she asked.

Emma looked up with a grin. "Hey Dr. Torres! My mom's here – she just went to the cafeteria. She'll be back in a minute."

Callie debated what tactic to use with her subject, and decided direct questioning might be best. "So, funny thing happened to me today. We have this Secret Santa gift exchange at work and my Secret Santa has gotten me 4 things that were on that list I made for Santa. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Nope." Emma said, smiling smugly.

Callie smiled. Clearly, the child was enjoying this and would prove to be a tougher nut to crack than she'd thought.

"Pretty please, Emma? Please tell me who my Secret Santa is? I'm dying to know. It could be your Christmas present to me?" Callie pleaded.

"Sorry, Dr. Torres. They made me swear to keep it a secret. Plus, it's more fun this way. Don't you want to wait and be surprised? That's what my mom always says when I ask to open my presents early."

"True." Callie, reluctantly agreed. "But, are you sure you don't want to tell me?"

"I'm sure." Emma replied. "Hey, do you think your Secret Santa will get you everything on your list?"

"I doubt it, sweetie. It's pretty hard to give a surgery as a gift and I'm pretty sure fixing my heart isn't something that's going to be easy either. But you never know. Christmas is a magical time after all. Besides, if I had to wish for Santa, Secret or otherwise, to fix a heart, I'd wish that he'd fix yours. Mine can wait a bit."

Callie smiled at the little girl, truly hoping for a Christmas miracle for her.

Callie stayed with Emma, chatting about other topics for a few minutes until her mom returned. Callie was halfway down the hall when she ran into Teddy.

"Hey, Callie, were you just in with Emma Stone? I know you two are close."

"Yes," replied Callie. "We were discussing Christmas lists. Poor kid wants Santa to fix her heart for Christmas."

Teddy smiled. "Well, that might just happen. I was just on my way to tell them the good news. We've got a donor heart. Assuming everything goes well, it looks like Santa came through on this one."

"That's great!" Callie exclaimed. "Wow, I can't believe it. An actual Christmas miracle."

"Yeah, it's nice to be giving out some good news today." Teddy replied. Their chat was interrupted by the sound of Callie's pager.

Callie looked at her pager. "They're paging me to the ER. Gotta go. Grandma probably got run over by a reindeer. Good luck with Emma. Please let me know how it goes." With that, she headed to the pit.  
When she arrived at the ER, she sought out Owen Hunt. "You paged me?"

"Yep. He said. "This is for you." He handed her a small box and walked away to attend to a patient.

Callie had a feeling she knew at least the theme, if not the exact contents of this package. This would be her butterfly gift if she wasn't mistaken. Delaying her anticipation for a moment, she read the card first:

_You've been wallowing, you've been coasting, you've been getting by. It's time to bring back that kick ass girl that everyone knows and loves. And what better way than with a kick ass surgery. This may not be the most bad ass, hardcore surgery you could do, but it's the best I could do on short notice without maiming an innocent civilian. Remember, you are awesome. Go get your rock star on. - Merry Christmas, Your Secret Santa._

Callie was surprised. She'd been expecting the butterflies. Her heart stopped for a minute when the note's words sunk in. Was the use of the word awesome a coincidence? Or could it be? Could Arizona be behind all this? Callie dismissed these thoughts. Awesome was a fairly common word after all and it's not like Arizona had propriety rights over its use. Opening the box, she saw a simple note that "Trauma One." Going to the room, Hunt presented her with a man who'd fallen off of his roof while attempting to play Santa for the kids. He'd broken dozens of bones and in a way, reminded Callie a lot of the teenaged girl she'd treated not that long ago with similar injuries. Still, it was pretty kick ass.

After hours of surgery, Callie was exhausted. Her shift had ended several hours before, but fake Santa's surgery was more important than clocking out on time. She'd missed the Christmas party, but had left Bailey's gift for her. She didn't mind missing the party. It was better to get away and not have to pretend to be happy and joyful. She'd have had to fake it and everyone would have known it. Better to avoid the pretense all together. At least she'd had plenty of time in the OR to distract herself from the fact that she'd be alone on Christmas.

Looking at her watch as she walked to the hospital exit, she realized it was after midnight. It was Christmas. She'd spent several Christmases without a significant other, but somehow, this one was different. She was alone in a new way. She wasn't just alone. She was alone and she was broken. Robbed of the one thing that made her life complete. All day, part of her had hoped that maybe Arizona was behind the gifts. The grand gesture would have been pretty romantic. But she sadly pushed that thought away. The surgery was clearly her last gift, or someone else would have stopped her with the other gifts. And Arizona had made it pretty clear that she was done with their relationship, that she was moving on that Callie should do the same. Callie quickly wiped away the single tear that trickled down her face and vowed to keep it together at least until she got home.

As she walked down the hallway of her building, she noticed Mark Sloan sitting on the floor outside their apartments.

Puzzled, Callie called out "Mark, what are doing in the hallway? Are you locked out? You know you can always use my spare key that I've got hidden and hang at my place? Why are you in the hall?" She was so confused and the long day was not helping her mental acuity.

As Mark rose, she noticed he held a small package in his hand. She stopped in her tracks.

He handed her the gift and said "Merry Christmas, Callie. I was your Secret Santa. Hope you liked the gifts."  
Callie's heart sank. Despite her continual denials to herself, she'd convinced herself that Arizona was behind the gifts. But Mark had just admitted that he was behind the gesture. Trying not to show her disappointment, Callie thanked him and gave him a hug.

"Open it," he said. "And then you get your card."

As she unwrapped the package, a knot formed in her throat. Inside was one of Arizona's beloved butterfly scrub caps.

"Where did you get this?" she asked.

"I have my ways." He replied cryptically.

Unable to resist the urge, she held it up to her cheek, caressing the fabric. Her breath caught, catching a hint of coconut shampoo. "It even smells like her."

Mark simply winked and handed her the accompanying card. "Merry Christmas." And with that, he went inside his apartment.

Callie gingerly opened the note, trying not to let her hope spring free.

_They say that if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If not, it wasn't meant to be. You were my butterfly and I set you free. Or that's what I thought anyway. I wanted you to fly, free, to find what made you happy. I thought I was doing the same, that I'd be happy doing such amazing work. I thought I knew what my dream was. My dream was Africa. Until I got my dream and realized that my real dream, my only dream, was, is and always will be YOU. I know you may be angry with me and you have every right. You've always been the giver. You were willing to give up kids for me. Willing to give up your career and follow me. Now it's my turn to give. If you'll have me, I give myself to you. Forever. I apologize for writing this, rather than saying it, but I don't know that I'll have the composure to get across exactly what I'm feeling. If you, my butterfly, are returning to me, I'm waiting for you on the other side of your (hopefully still our) door. If you'll let me, there's something I need to ask you. If not, I understand._

_I love you, __  
__Arizona_

By this time tears were streaming down Callie's face. Shaking, she slowly opened her apartment door.  
Arizona paced back and forth across the apartment. It was late. Callie was late. She'd had a plan and had been praying that it worked. It had to work. She wanted, no, NEEDED, it to work. Her secret mission. She'd hoped all those years around military folks had paid off, that she'd picked up some stealth tactics. She'd had operatives placed within her subject's inner circle and prayed that they'd completed their tasks without any foul-ups. This was a mistake. Why should she have expected Callie to wait for her. She cut her out of her life. She'd been the one to make the break. She'd done the one thing to Callie that she'd promised she'd never do. Abandon her just like everyone else had. The sound of the door opening brought her out of her thoughts.  
There she stood, in the doorway, her life, her everything, her only reason for being. Beautiful as always, even after a long, long day at work. Arizona's breath caught in her throat, suddenly nervous. Callie gave her a small, insecure smile. That was all the encouragement she needed.

"Calliope. Marry me."

With that, Callie crossed the room in a few quick strides and took Arizona into her arms, their lips crashing together into a long, passionate, searing kiss that spoke all the words neither could say. Sure, there was much to be said and much to be mended, but that didn't matter at that moment. They were together. She'd gotten her last wish. Santa had really come through. Her heart was on the mend. This was the dream they could agree on. And it was time to start living that dream for the rest of their lives.


End file.
